Legends of the Fall

Not to be confused with the movie, this Legends of the Fall is about memories, music and the wonderful changes Mother Nature takes through the year.

It’s been an incredibly stressful week and I don’t always know how to cope with that.  I believe I am pretty good at keeping the stress from the surface at work but not so much after that.  By the end of the week I am drained, exhausted, and just want to escape from the Big Room for awhile.  I need that down time and alone time rather it’s a walk in the woods, a long drive in my truck or on the bike, or just sitting in an empty space. Music plays a large part in this recovery process so I have a tendency to just jump in the truck play some music and drive with no destination for hours sometimes.  Today was one of those days that I just woke up and knew I needed to just go.  A perfect fall day for a walk or a drive.  I saw a post a friend of mine had made, saying that he was DJing on Legends 102.7 today and I decided to tune in.  Hence “Legends of the Fall”.

Every song he played, including one I may have requested, took me on a trip through life.  From my earliest memories of childhood through my teens and into adulthood memories and emotions flooded through the speakers of my truck and the stress and current events of my preoccupation with work melted away.  It always amazes me how much of life I can completely forget about until a certain song is played linking emotion and memory to a lyric or a bass line.  I can’t make it happen.  I can’t always just pick a song and know what will come from it.   But that a very specific memory can flood through with a tune, and then be replaced and forgotten by the next has some healing value to it.

Likewise Autumn has always been an intrinsic period of deep reflection. There is something about this changing of our Earth, the scent and color of the leaves, the way the sunlight is filtered, the crisp dryness of the air that nourishes and calms the spirit in me.  The subtle encouragement to evaluate life as it is lived instead of the constant fret over the wreckage of the past…or the future.  Each year the reflection of where I have been, what I have done and who I am becoming.  Each year some satisfactions and some disappointments but growth nonetheless.  I am not where I necessarily want to be but I am so far from where I started.  I am surrounded by truly good men who want nothing more than to help each other become better men.  I have a daughter and a step daughter that are both amazing in their own ways, and I couldn’t be prouder of either of them.  And I have a kind of  love of a woman that I didn’t think existed in reality, but it does.  These things are all I really need.  They make me feel small, a tiny thread in the vastness of the universe.  They help me to remember the path.

“Well those drifter days have past me now, I’ve got so much more to think about, deadlines and commitments, what to leave in, what to leave out… Against the wind…well I’m older now and still runnin’ against the wind…”

This may be just the ramblings of a madman, and I don’t know if it’s important that anyone reads this.  It just feels good to put down words again after so long.

Stories and Adventures Coming Soon!  I promise!

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